4 Words: Gas, Station, Breakfast, Pizza
Another fine reason why Americans are the most obese nation, ever
About 25 years ago, an upstart company started building bright, clean gas stations all over the Midwestern US, exclusively in tiny rural towns. I lived in a tiny rural town, thus, we got our own. Places like ours had nothing since the 1970s fuel crisis forced many mom-and-pop stations to close. There was little fanfare but it provided a much needed convenience store to underserved rural areas.
Among their services was carry-out pizza, which took a while to take hold. I mean, it was 'gas station' pizza, after all. But due to their rapid expansion, word of mouth, and lots of coupon offers, this upstart company became at present the fifth largest pizza chain in America.
On September 14th, 2001, in the wake of the 9/11 Terror Attacks (no relation implied), Casey's General Stores of Ankeny, IA introduced the Breakfast Pizza to the American public.
The Casey's Breakfast Pizza
Let me walk you through it. A Casey's pizza is built on premises with fresh toppings, a proprietary canned sauce and dough made in house and formed on a stretcher machine. The crust is not thin, nor thick. It is spectacularly average, as are its sauce and ingredients. It is the Ford Mondeo of pizza. Not life changing, but solid. It seems to suit everyone in the family. The freshness appeals to adults, and its consistency appeals to kids. There is something to be said about consistent adequacy in today's America.
Casey's sells not only whole pies, but also ready, warm slices, so it is awesome for a quick bite, no matter what time of day. Now, they start making the 'regular' red sauce pizzas around 11 AM, and because we're all two-legged feral boars, we demanded pizzas earlier in the day. I imagine some clown at a Casey's somewhere in Nebraska shot some tobacco juice out of the gap in his teeth and decided, "Hey, if they're gonna want me to fire up the dough mixer this early in the day, I'm just gonna flop some eggs and bacon on it, just for shniggles."
So they did, and as a result, they got asked to do it the next morning, too. Casey's may or may not have invented the breakfast pizza, but they damn sure sell a lot of them. They are very popular as a change of pace for morning gatherings where donuts or bagels are typically offered. So what's the difference? Just look at the rundown below. The crusts are the same. Instead of pepperoni & olives, a breakfast pizza has traditional breakfast meat toppings: ham, bacon, and/or sausage. Scrambled eggs are also included as a topping. But I want you to now note what is used as sauce:
Cheese sauce -or- sausage gravy?
I try very hard to boggle you clean eaters and vegans with everything I write about Middle American eating habits. If I haven't yet succeeded today, let me hit you with the coup de grace:
These...these are Video Game nutritional numbers...
Each (1/8th) slice contributes a quarter of the entire daily recommended sodium. Also a quarter of the cholesterol. Forty percent of the saturated fats!!! Them's the bad fats!! You must agree: this, this is the Final Boss of the American Obesity video game!
Do not get me wrong: I like Casey's. I wish no ill will. It is on us as individuals to use willpower, and not abuse the freshly made breakfast pizza. As well as their premise-made donuts, fritters, cookies, soft-serve ice cream, and croissant sandwiches. Dang, the fritters. I gotta go. Later!