Ann Summers offering discounts on penis-shaped pasta

Nearest supermarket been robbed of all its dried pasta? Wondering where you’re going to get your next stodgy, carb-y fix? Never fear. Ann Summers is here. And she’s packing something… unexpected.

Yep, Ann Summers are currently offering a “three for the price of two” deal that stretches to a perennial hen party favourite: Penis Pasta. And you know what? It’s got some excellent reviews.

One customer said, “Great fun. Used a whole box to make pasta and cheese bake for 4. Tasty.”

Another commented: “Hilarious. I’m going to cook it with meatballs”.

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The Penis Pasta, whose packaging features a perky-looking moustachioed phallus in a chef’s hat, contains 100% durum wheat semolina, making it an excellent substitute for your regular fusilli or spaghetti. Close your eyes and you won’t even know the difference!

A 200g box retails for £5 – so it’s a little on the pricey side – but you can get it in the offer if you’re buying some other Ann Summers things at the same time. Perhaps some ‘Jelly Willies’ or penis-shaped shortbread will help keep those cupboards nicely stocked?

The Ann Summers website describes the pasta as “perfect for dinner parties, girls’ nights in or any occasion”, though it doesn’t mention anything about self-isolation.

Penis Pasta: yes or no?