Cheese and wine could save your life

An exclusive survey has concluded that the joyous delights can boost brain power.

3w ago

Christmas is the time for absurd overindulgence: as I write this I am munching through a packet of chocolate chip cookies for breakfast because it’s 2020 and reality no longer exists.

In the bad old days of normal life eating 20 advent calendars a day and devouring so many pigs in blankets that you started to grow a curiously curly tail would perhaps have been considered unhealthy habits. However, thanks to the newfound age of science it has been discovered that we are all able to conquer the adversities of a poor diet.

Geniuses at Iowa State University decided to launch an investigation into the effects that cheese and red wine have on the brain. Although there is certainly one obvious way that the brain is influenced by copious amounts of glowing booze, the experts in shiny white coats reached another, far more useful conclusion: red wine and cheese are good for the brain.

According to the scientists, consumption of the rich goodies was shown in their study to assist with reducing cognitive decline, leading them to speculate that they could help some people ward off the effects of Alzheimer’s.

Brandon Klinedinst, who helped to write the report, said: “I believe the right food choices can prevent the disease and cognitive decline altogether. Perhaps the silver bullet we’re looking for is upgrading how we eat.”

The inquiry involved 1,787 people aged 46 to 77, so the results are obviously not representative of the whole population. The scientists also added the warning that excessive consumption of either cheese or wine is very likely to have a detrimental effect on health, emphasising that moderation is key.

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Comments (12)

  • This is music to my soul. 🍷

      27 days ago
  • My brain just kept the information that 🍷 and 🧀 are good for you. 😁

      27 days ago
  • Great news I'll tell mum but she'll probably forget within seconds. Mind you we'll fill her up with this marvelous food and drink combination over Christmas. Season's greetings 🎄🌟

      27 days ago
  • Always knew I could live happily on Cheese and Bread the wine is just a bonus....

      27 days ago
  • I’ll have to write this one down so that I don’t forget it....oh look a unicorn.

      25 days ago