- From left to right: the UK; the USA

Counterpoint: you Brits don't need nor deserve the Gravy Pizza

I honestly don't know what the venerable Yum! Corporation is thinking lately

37w ago

4.5K

To recap: The Yum! Corporation are the madmen who run Pizza Hit, KFC and Taco Bell. They're 'Murrican! Based in Kentucky, home of the same bunch of butterballs that are responsible for good things such as Bourbon whiskey, & the Chevrolet Corvette, as well as disasters like the Mint Julep and Senator Mitch McConnell? One would think, especially with our specific political climate, that they'd be all about 'Murrica Furst!

But let's look at some evidence, shall we?

07/09/2019 (written dd/mm/yyyy like you Brits like it):

Word that the Chocomarsh melt is offered on the menus of Taco Bell UK, and NOT the US:

I...can't? What did we do wrong? Why do THEY get the Nutella quesaidillas?

I...can't? What did we do wrong? Why do THEY get the Nutella quesaidillas?

09/12/2019

Bottomless gravy (bot-tom-less-freak-in-gray-vee) offered at KFC UK, and NOT the US:

I just....want to go over there now, and break his effing wrist and chug all that gravy out of that boat like a Dyson

I just....want to go over there now, and break his effing wrist and chug all that gravy out of that boat like a Dyson

03/02/2020

Rachael Hogg is all like 'mew mew mew we got the chicken nuggets & gravy pizza'

Woulda skipped the corn, though

Woulda skipped the corn, though

Honestly, people. This shit is meant for US, and by US I mean yeah, the 'yew-ess', the US of A! We prepare our whole lives for gravy pizzas! Our men's clothing stores start with size XL. Our pickup trucks are built with larger front springs because they know the majority of the weight sits in the cab, not the bed. Millions of us are gainfully employed not only by mobility scooter manufacturers, but by pharmaceutical concerns specializing in blood pressure medicine, diabetes medicine, and/or cholesterol medicines. We're built to withstand the onslaught of fat!

These treats are NOT meant for a bunch of walking skeletons that can actually sit comfortably in a Mini Cooper or a Fiat Panda. They are not for a bunch of perpetual semi-vegans who otherwise long for carryout cauliflower florets bathed in bright yellow curry sauces. You brought the world Mick Jagger, Kate Moss and Keira Knightley. We gave you Chris Farley, Jonah Hill (when he was still fat), and, um....everyone on the TLC network! "My 600 Pound Life", "My 800 Pound Life", "My Half-Ton Life", "Dr. Pimple Popper".

Why in the name of Extra Crispy are Taco Bell, KFC and Pizza Hut are bypassing its most fertile gluttony market? I mean it, you damn Nigels. Give us back our damn gravy pizza.

Join In

Comments (16)

Loading...
Loading...
16