- This is the enemy in 2020

Desperate Times Call For VERY Drastic Measures

Chicago answers the call for hand sanitizers in the only way it knows how

43w ago

American industries are being asked, when feasible, to shift their production to cover shortages in virus-fighting products. Various distilleries throughout the world have made the news with either limited or permanent runs of hand sanitizer production.

As I've previously mentioned, Chicago is known only for the distillation of one spirit, one which is so vile and bitter that many consumers have wondered if somehow they had accidentally swilled hand sanitizer.

Jeppson's Malört hand sanitizer, Chicago

Jeppson's Malört hand sanitizer, Chicago

Thus it would logically figure that Malört would jump into the fray. CH Distillery, the makers of the locally infamous Jeppson's Malört, has begun donating 1 liter bottles of hand sanitizer to local hospitals. There was thought of making smaller bottles for public purchase, but CH claims that all the legalese necessary couldn't fit on a smaller label, so 33.9 fl oz is the only available size.

The first run of 250 to 500 bottles is intended for hospital use, although if the COVID-19 threat increases, a greater supply may be produced. The product is 80% alcohol, or twice the strength of the liqueur. Me thinks the true reason behind private distribution lies more with the temptation it would provide Generation Z and other incurable drunks if it were available publicly.

Anyway, thank you, CH Distillery, for doing your part! Wash your hands, everyone!

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Comments (2)

  • special anti viral hand scrubbing items.

      9 months ago
  • That's great!

      10 months ago