How have I not won a James Beard Award, or at least a Michelin star...?

Also, I'm wondering how I haven't had a heart attack yet!

3w ago
5.3K

I was having an "ughhhhhhhhh" day when I looked at the menu of meals my wife and I had planned for the week. I just had no desire to eat any of the things we had planned for, and my mind went terribly diabolical. I rooted through the panty and fridge, and awesome terribleness ensued! I consider this mess to be award winning.

Starch on starch on cheese on sausage on starch

What I found was a box of mac n' cheese, hot and spicy andouille sausage, and frozen French fries. Starch on top of starch, served with extra cheesiness and spicy sausage. I was beginning to get excited! The mac n' cheese was started on the stove top, and I fired up the gas grill outside to cook the sausage. All that was left was to kick on the air fryer to make my frozen French fries not so frozen. To make things a bit more "chef'ed up", I mixed a pizza dipping cheese sauce cup from Papa John's into the mac n' cheese. There was some serious kitchen creating going on here!

Oh! And the plating is one of the most important parts, because we eat with our eyes first! I started out by laying down a base layer of French fries, and then added a healthy pile of mac n' cheese on top of that. Then, sliced up spicy sausage got tumbled onto the plate! Mmmmmmm! Little morsels of hot and spicy protein! And to finish off the flavor and plating; RANCH DRESSING!

My road to a future angioplasty was delightful! Spicy sausage and tangy ranch combined well with the starchiness of elbow macaroni and fries. Dinner actually tasted great, as horrible as it might sound to most folks! I wolfed it down and was happy. My wife however sat accross from me at dinner shaking her head in disdain - eating a salad. The best part? I had enough mac n' cheese and sausage to eat as leftovers over fries again the next night!

Night one of my award winning (in my depraved mind) dinner. I used crispy seasoned fries and there may have been a couple chicken sticks in there too.

Night one of my award winning (in my depraved mind) dinner. I used crispy seasoned fries and there may have been a couple chicken sticks in there too.

Mmmmmmm! Spicy sausage, cheese, starch, and ranch dressing!

Mmmmmmm! Spicy sausage, cheese, starch, and ranch dressing!

Night two of my impending cardiac arrest saw the use of waffle fries and more ranch dressing!

Night two of my impending cardiac arrest saw the use of waffle fries and more ranch dressing!

It's beautiful! It's a train wreck!

It's beautiful! It's a train wreck!

Gaze upon my brilliance!

Gaze upon my brilliance!

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Comments (22)

  • In the words of a certain John Battersby... "HAHAHAHAHAHAAHA"

      21 days ago
  • That is a beauty of a hot mess! I completely agree with you 👍

      22 days ago
    • Thank you brother!

        22 days ago
    • You are welcome!

      I would give you a award for your contributions to the culinary world if I had one to give. 🤣

        22 days ago
  • Fantastic! 😋

      22 days ago
  • Anything in moderation!

      22 days ago
  • I must admit that it looks good, but... Never mind, no comment! I hope your heart holds out, but if you're ever put onto a heart-healthy diet for medical reasons, let me know and I'll see if I can revamp your James Beard Award winning dish for you. 😂

      22 days ago
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