Indulging the treat of a midnight McDonald’s
It’s not always a bad thing to cave in to cravings.
McDonald's is frequently seen as the worst of all sins. Forget murder or throwing litter out of a car, indulging in a convenient, salty feast is viewed to be the worst behaviour that anyone can perform.
If biting a solitary McDonald's fry is like licking the Devil's tail, relishing a three-course Maccies meal must be akin to jetting away to Hell's version of a sunshine island and sipping piping hot glasses of orange gin made with actual blood.
However, trying to fend off a McDonald's craving at midnight is an almost impossible challenge. Not even the supreme intelligence of Professor Brian Cox could defeat it. So, it is in no way shameful that I succumbed to the fatty excellence.
One thought of McDonald's is all it takes before suddenly a hamburger, large fries and Oreo McFlurry lie in front of you. That's what happened to me, anyway. I've done other crazy stuff, too. I once wore a T-shirt back to front for a whole day and did nothing to rectify it. The Peaky Blinders have got nothing on me.
It was, admittedly, a very cheap and simple three-course meal – but it hit the spot. Despite having virtually no meat, the bun of the burger was so soft and the sauces so sweet that it was devoured in mere seconds. The fries achieved a similar result, although the rich fried potato sensation was abundantly evident in spite of the vastness of the salt spread.
No unhealthy meal can ever be complete without a huge dollop of soothing sugar. It’s almost as though all bad things in life have conspired to join forces against the sanctity of the stomach. In the case of the Oreo McFlurry, the gut was actually extremely pleased with the deeply soft and vanilla ice cream coated with giant splatters of Oreo biscuit pieces. My head, on the other hand, was less impressed with the freezing pain that my rampant munching caused.
McDonald’s may well be a capitalist icon – its enormous golden arches and white lettering shining incessantly into the innocence of night time – and receive the constant scorn of fast food reformists, but its exemplary service to the cheeky, inane needs of everyone should be recognised with the fanfare it truly deserves.
(I am aiming to write at least one food review a week throughout 2021 in support of The Trussell Trust, a UK charity that fights food poverty by supporting community food banks and campaigning for national change: justgiving.com/FoodWriting).