- From freezer burnt to burnt, Ben Welham's Morrison's pizza.

It's time, FoodTribe. Let's hear about your worst food fail

I shall go first...

51w ago

It was only my second time cooking – with minimal supervision – but I’m afraid what I did might have transcended simple ignorance and been quite dull-witted. You can decide for yourself.

I’d been asked to fry some sausages. So I heated the frypan (which, sitting on the power of induction, started sizzling the oil within a minute), knifed the packet, and took out the first raw sausage.

I thought it looked a bit plastic. I began to suspect sausages were individually wrapped, within the packet, in case the first layer got pierced at the shops. This suspicion crystallised into certainty, and so I painstakingly removed what I believed was cursed individual plastic wrapping.

Happily I tossed that sausage into the frypan before starting on the next one, because 3 seconds into the heat, it descended into mince.

Remember, the measure you use will be the same measure I apply to you. Because now...


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Comments (108)

  • I once burned a cup of Kraft Easy Mac because i forgot to add water and cooked it on high for 3 minutes

      11 months ago
    • I am going to award you with the Dull-wittery award there, Scott, because Kraft Easy Mac instructions are clear.

        11 months ago
    • More like Difficult Mac, am I right?

        11 months ago
  • I do something every day. I have lost track...

      11 months ago
  • About a year ago I was home alone, making some fried eggs, once I'd finished I went to wash the pan with cold water in the sink; what I didn't know was how hot oil reacts to cold water. It all went a bit nuts and I ended up with oil splattering all over my hand and arm - bagged myself some 1st and 2nd degree burns.

    Moral of the story: don't make fried eggs; just poach them.

    Either that, or the time I microwaved grapes but that's another tale.

      11 months ago
    • Ooh. I once tried cleaning the BBQ hot plates with Ajax while they were still hot plates. The light above the BBQ was engulfed, but my eyebrows were saved.

      Now, the microwaved grapes.

        11 months ago
    • Thank god for the eyebrows!

      Ok, so I was watching some science channel and this guy put a grape in a microwave and it morphed into this funky-looking plasmatic ball - so naturally I wanted to try it. It didn't work. My cover story was that I was...

      Read more
        11 months ago
  • When me and my Mrs were first married she under cooked fish fingers and I got food poisoning so bad the toilet never forgave me.

      11 months ago
  • Well I tried to make some pizzas on a grill and burned the first one while I went to the toilet.

    When I came back and opened the lid it was just a charcoal frisbee.

      11 months ago
    • Ah yes. Nothing like hearing the kitchen smoke alarm going off when you're in the toilet.

        11 months ago
    • How long were you in the toilet for? Haha

        11 months ago