Join the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles for a pizza party
The best thing is that you don’t have to eat in a revolting sewer
As we know, the wisest creature on planet Earth is a karate-obsessed rat called Master Splinter. Only a handful of decades ago he succeeded in transforming a childish bunch of inexperienced turtles into warriors that make the US Marines look like the tamest and fluffiest of kittens.
The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles are famed for their fighting skills, putting the despicable Shredder in his place by using an array of combat weapons and wizardry. The originals had a fantastic theme tune, too.
The Turtles – Leonardo, Donatello, Raphael and Michelangelo – were especially loved for their addiction to pizza (an uncharacteristically dull subject for most teenagers) and so it has come to pass that the anthropomorphic sea creatures have chosen to host a pizza party – and you’re invited.
To allow the event to actually work, the undoubtedly highly sophisticated occasion will be hosted by the actors of the 1990 film, rather than the original (and, in my view, far superior) cartoon creations.
To celebrate thirty years since the movie was released, the actors will be hosting the virtual party on Facebook on Saturday 23 May (or, as David Attenborough knows it, World Turtle Day). Judith Hoag, who played April O’Neil in the blockbuster – a TV reporter who soon became an ally of the Turtles – announced that the “original, official cast and crew” would be joining in to gorge continuously on pizza.
Originally, a plethora of events had been planned to mark the historically vital event, but COVID-19 scuppered them. It is ironic that a bunch of superheroes who spend their lives living with germs should have their livelihoods trashed by a virus.
So, make sure that your freezers are stocked up and that you have plenty of takeaway menus at hand, because 23 May is going to be a cheesy day – in more ways than one.