KFC’s Valiant Vegan Burger
A brutally honest and lighthearted review of KFC's Vegan Burger.
If you happen to be Piers Morgan (or any other moron) I suggest that you cease reading now. Although, if that’s the case I am making an incredibly wild assumption that you can actually read.
In this new decade (that will probably just get a boring name like the “twenty-twenties”) it’s just as unfashionable to eat meat as it is to bathe in pools of grease, problems that KFC has – finally – provided a solution to.
Despite no company seeming to have the marketing genius of Gregg’s, it is now relatively common knowledge that KFC has launched its own rocket into the meat-free universe with its Vegan Burger (I hear that even Amazon tribes are getting in on the act – and that’s not a reference to Clarkson, Hammond and May).
For the £3.99 I was charged to consume it I could probably have bought an entire chicken. Admittedly, it would likely have been roadkill, but an entire chicken nonetheless. So was plunging myself into ten years’ of debt worth it?
Well, it certainly spiced up my life – and I’m not talking about gaining Instagram likes from people thinking I’m ‘woke’. No, the “eleven herbs and spices” that the Colonel packed into his vegan meat (stop the filthy innuendo, please) left a slightly more fiery sensation in my mouth than I was expecting.
But the traditional KFC batter was just as crispy and guiltily tasty as always, so overall the eating experience was not out of character with what the company consistently delivers.
If anything, it was a great improvement: not only was a massive chunk of fillet served up but there was substantially less of the grease and sickliness that are common by-products of Kentucky cooking.
It’s a mighty step forward into the bizarre dimension of feeling good for eating junk. Four stars out of five.