Missing fried chicken? How to get your KFC fix at home
The internet has been awash with useful hacks to feed your fried chicken fetish.
Sad times have been in plentiful supply over the past few weeks. They started with the outbreak of Covid-19 and culminated with all of the UK’s restaurants being instructed to close in order to stop the virus’ spread.
Although takeaways are still permitted to open under the government’s rules, many companies took the decision to close these assets as well in order to fully protect their staff and customers. Unfortunately, KFC was no exception – meaning that chicken batter junkies everywhere have been forced to roam landfill sites, desperately searching for discarded bones to suck the last molecules of grease from.
Mercifully, the worldwide web has once again produced the means with which to save potentially hundreds and thousands of lives.
First of all, renowned frozen food producer Birds Eye has unleashed two brand new chicken burgers – and they’re bigger beasts than an entire rugby team.
The meaty fillet burgers come in boxes of two and are split into the brands of “ultimate” and “sizzler” (the latter claimed to taste exactly like KFC’s Zinger burger – a bold statement). Packed full of whole chicken breast, the burgers are dubbed to contain “premium-taste”; which, really, you would surely expect any product to offer – the horse meat scandal was a millennium ago.
How to make your very own KFC at home
If you’ve got rather more time on your hands, in between your daily walk to the shop and exercise, you could try to replicate a homemade KFC chicken recipe devised by Dan Fell, a Twitter guy whose life is now complete.
Stating that the majestic meal took him the entirety of eighteen months to develop (he’s evidently been on lockdown a great deal longer than the rest of us), Dan has now released his findings to the world so that generations of KFC addicts can copiously feed their habit (although, rather foolishly, he’s released the recipe for free without any royalties – think of the bread he could have made from breaded chicken).
He has unveiled all of the necessary ingredients and the best cooking method on a video on his Twitter account:
There we have it, then: the beginning of the end for the KFC franchise. I hope you’re all pleased with your desperate acts. Now, to complete the set, we just need someone to invent cold, hard, tasteless chips and fizzy drinks so weak that more nourishment could be found from licking wet leaves.