Oreo is protecting its cookies from asteroids
The imminent destruction of planet Earth is planned for 3rd November.
As we all know, every so often a cataclysmic event is predicted to happen on Earth, usually caused by some ridiculously large and unnecessary space object crashing into the planet and sending it careering into the sun. At least we could get some warmth on these dreary autumn days.
The latest problem is asteroid 2018VP1 that is due to pass worryingly close to Earth on 3rd November. Now even aliens are trying to influence the US presidential election.
Despite the likely minimal risk to mankind, one Twitter user raised a crucial point: how do we protect Oreos?
It’s an important matter; without Oreos how could the human race possibly continue to function? We’d just spend our time locked up indoors, scrolling endlessly through the streams of nonsense on social media. Oh, wait.
Thankfully – and by sheer coincidence – it turns out that Oreo has had the situation dramatically under control. 38 days before the impact day the company set out a venture to build an Oreo strong room.
Named the Global Oreo Vault, interest soon began to rise about who would be allowed to work there.
Probably the world’s greatest source of generosity, Oreo has been sharing the comforts of its exclusive bunker.
For those of us fortunate enough to survive the apocalypse, a new life of blissful Oreo living can be found at the coordinates 78°08'58.1"N, 16°01'59.7"E. Conspiracy theories about the asteroid actually being a giant Oreo are welcome.