Pleasing cakes or cheese-fakes? Oreo’s cheesecakes review
The best food of all time combines with the most popular snack in generations. But do two immense positives make a crushing negative?
Water may well be considered essential to our continued survival, but we should not overlook the far more significant necessity of cheesecake.
The name in itself should convince all: There can be no greater combination than “cheese” and “cake” (other than “Grand” and “Tour”, obviously). Sugary softness with a crunchy base should be the foundations of every meal. Actually, they should be the formula of buildings. A stodgy cheesecake will stand the test of time better than bricks and mortar (and they’d never burn, they’d simply melt – which is definitely a safer outcome. Probably).
To progress its domination of everything, Oreo cashed-in on the fame of cheesecakes by creating its own Oreo cheesecake. Served in admirably recyclable glass jars, I bought a box of two Oreo cheesecakes from Tesco for £3.
The biology of the cheesecakes was not a complex one, comprising an Oreo base that was half sponge and half crunchy crumbs, a thick centre band of Oreo cream and a final sprinkling of moist Oreo pieces on top.
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It transpires that soggy Oreos are even nicer than normal ones. Unlike Digestives which splatter and dissolve, when Oreos meet the softness of cheesecake they embrace the excellence, moulding themselves to blend with the plumped, luscious dessert.
The chunky, crumbly bottom amplified the deliciousness of the traditional Oreo biscuit, as if the exclusive flavour was literally oozing out, cramming in every speck of flavour. The creamy centre was a flatteringly milky ensemble, creating the full Oreo-dunked-in-milk experience with even the tiniest of bites. A flaky addition of crushed Oreo pieces was an ideal topping garnish, so much so that I reckon the usefulness of the likes of thyme and mint has come to an end. I can’t wait to eat steak peppered with Oreo segments.
It is amply justified that Oreo’s cheesecakes should be entered into the noble cheesecake hall of fame, taking centre stage with the hierarchy of lemon and salted caramel. It seems that there exists only one worry: Oreo’s impending takeover of the planet.
(I am aiming to write at least one food review a week throughout 2021 in support of The Trussell Trust, a UK charity that fights food poverty by supporting community food banks and campaigning for national change: justgiving.com/FoodWriting).