Prisoners decide they no longer fancy eating porridge

There have been many huge protest movements over recent months, from Extinction Rebellion to Black Lives Matter. Not even the iron fist of COVID-19 has escaped the scourge of public outrage, with the virus being the subject of campaigns against restrictions and apparently in support of uncontrolled freedom.

One demonstration appears to have been excluded from national debate, however. Taboos have been shattered by the revelation that prisoners have demanded an end to mealtimes filled with porridge.

It has always been customary in the ancient stereotypes of Britain’s jails that convicts should be fed a diet of porridge and nothing else. This was a useful accompaniment to their full-time activities of either sowing mailbags or hammering rocks with blunt pickaxes. But, this is 2020 – simultaneously the year of hell and of ending discrimination.

So, inmates at HMP Holme House in Teeside have chosen to evict the old fashioned gruel, despite it remaining a staple at prisons across the country (apparently because of its perceived healthy nutrients and definitely nothing to do with the fact it’s so cheap).

The prisoners set up a council with the permission of the prison governor, which led to a democratic decision for there to be a greater variety of grub offered up at the Category C nick. Now, such culinary delights as omelettes, cereal, crackers and jam and the good old English breakfast will be provided instead.

Despite the food revolution apparently taking place within the prison system, there have been no reports of Jamie Oliver jumping onto the bandwagon and turning it into a drawn-out TV show. Not yet, but watch this space.