Home cooking brought to you by
Someone criticises your cooking. How do you feel?
- Meh, I knew it was average anyway
- I agree, but I feel like filleting them with a butter knife
- No one criticises my cooking
Which are you?
- THE PLAYER: I usually follow the recipe implicitly. If something goes wrong, it wasn't me
- THE IMPROVISER: I follow it loosely. There's a bit of me in every recipe, and yes, sometimes I fail
- THE COMPOSER: I'm an artist and an experimenter in the kitchen. I make my own recipes up all the time
Are you inwardly and secretly hard on other people's cooking?
- I frequently have meals I don't really like
- It's neither inward nor secret. My name's Gordon Ramsay and my friends know where I stand on their cooking
- I find food tastes better when someone else cooks it!
- Well, I can be
You're cooking. How many people are allowed in your kitchen?
- Me. I said me. Get out.
- No more than two, and the other knows the risk of getting burned in the back of the head with a hot tray
- I dunno, as long as I've got my little space to do my thing, I'm all good
Do your friends often call you a good cook?
- Yes, I'm the go-to friend for all cooking questions
- After a meal, sure they do
- Not really
All the guys and gals are over. Someone offers to help in the kitchen. What do you say?
- "It's all under control, thanks" - regardless of whether it actually is
- "Sure, do you want to grate the cheese" - give them a job that's not major
- "Yeah, does this look cooked?"
It's Christmas. What are you cooking for the big family get-together?
- Everything. Even though I appear frazzled, no one would take that from me
- The roast meats, normally
- A dessert
- The damn cauliflower cheese
- I'm told which cheese to get for the platter
ONE CHRISTMAS THOUGH...someone does your thing. How do you react?
- I'm not going
- Yeah well, they can c**k it up. I'll be asked next year
- That's fine, I wanted a break anyway
- I'm scared, because it's the thing I knew how to do