Saucy foods for Valentine's Day
What are the best and worst romantic foods?
Ahead of Valentine's Day, I thought I'd start a list and some analysis of the best and strangest romantic foods...
Just some T&Cs. I am not an aphrodisiac scientist, and in order to compile this list I have had to do some research. I do welcome other recommendations in the comments.
Right… here's six to start off
Simple and fun. Buy some doughnuts - one’s with holes - excite a gentleman, and you can play a game of ring toss. Maybe not romantic, but perhaps fun? Wouldn’t spend money on Krispy Kreme, though.
Two years ago the film The Shape of Water — about a woman that falls in love with a fish-man — won an Oscar and legitimised human-fish relations. But, if you think that’s a big step and only want to dip your toe into the pond of amphibious desire, you could eat oysters on Valentine's Day. Zinc is the primary ingredient and is recognised as being a superb aphrodisiac which even Casanova benefitted from. The downside is they are expensive, a bit smelly and alive. You could, therefore, try other high-zinc foods, such as nuts.
In the right hands, they can be used extremely seductively. However, other than being funny visual props, every webpage I’ve read says these yellow girthy fruits are more dangerous in the bedroom than a strap-on Kalashnikov — so be careful.
You can’t go wrong with crisps. Literally perfect for a romantic Valentine's Day evening. Open up a packet, lounge about, watch some Netflix, maybe chill, and if you find yourself without protection, you’ve got a handy wrapper.
2. Dark chocolate
I’ve lost count of the number of times a newspaper has claimed that dark chocolate will stop cancer, prevent erectile disfunction or end a Middle East war, but I’m obligated to tell you that a slab of Bournville is also one of the most romantically invigorating foods around. Apparently the components of dark chocolate cause healthy blood flow and release endorphins into the body. Though, I’ve not managed to work out how much you need to eat to get these results.
This is the ultimate UK naughty food. Yes, you and your other half can go to some Gordon Ramsay spin-off or an OpenTable deal to enjoy your Valentine's Day, but love in Britain is not romantic. We are not Hollywood or France, we are Love Actually, we are Gavin and Stacey. British love is formed on awkward pub dates, drunk nights-out on sticky dance floors and standing in kebab shops while it pours down outside. And that’s why the ultimate Valentine's Day food, to elicit confidence, passion and comfort, has to be Kentucky Fried Chicken.
It is finger lickin’ good.