Something a bit like chow mein but with inappropriate rice was not bad at all
Woks should be kept at arm's length and do not mix with alcohol, like guns
Apologies to any Chinese readers. I think I made this up as I went along, but with reference to something I read on here somewhere. It includes chicken pieces and beansprouts but was fuelled mainly by several bottles of Riesling.
This is the problem with owning a wok, especially if it's something recently discovered. It calls to you, and goads you with its convenience and versatility. Once the munchies strike, the wok presents itself as a rapid-response solution, able to transform any left-overs or cupboard orphans into an almost instant, um, signature dish. It's also quite big, so your aim doesn't need to be that great.
But, like an old Porsche 911, the wok can bite back. Mine spat a molten fragment of spring onion shrapnel into my eye, temporarily rendering me completely, rather than just half, blind.
This leads me to my point, a tip I learned recently (from a Chinese lady, in fact) about checking the temperature of your wok before adding the ingredients. The wok heats up very quickly, so getting this right is important.
Have some water to hand, in a cup or whatever. Set the wok, dry, over the flame.
After half a minute or so flick a few drops of water from the ends of your fingers into the bottom of the wok. If it sits there sizzling, your wok is not yet hot enough. If it disappears instantly, it's too hot.
When the wok is right, the droplets will dance rapturously for a second or two before fading away. Now you can pour your oil in, in a swirl half-way up the side, so that it heats progressively as it settles into the bottom. Now start your wok panic with the ingredients.
I tried this trick with the above, to discover that I generally don't have my wok hot enough. Cowardice. This time I got it right, and this was the best stir-fry I've yet made.
My personal food reviewer described it as 'a bit like a take-away', but she'd been on the Riesling, too.