Student's shock as kebab turns into pile of cheese

Condolences have been pouring in from around the world to support the distraught student.

10w ago

Losing food through the misfortunes of life can have a devastating personal impact. Whether it be a clumsily held takeaway that ends up plummeting to the ground or a somersaulting plate that sends its beautifully displayed contents splattering across a wall, food deaths are tough crises to deal with.

However, the food death suffered by university student Sophie Stevens involved a plot that was so distorted it would stun even the loyalist of Midsomer Murders viewers.

Having craved the meaty delights of a cheeky takeaway kebab throughout her day of toil, Sophie – who is studying to be a mental health nurse – was aghast to find in the delivered polystyrene carton nothing more than a pile of 40 slices of cheese. This certainly puts the Bible’s 30 pieces of silver story into perspective.

Sophie Stevens/Facebook

Sophie Stevens/Facebook

As if the agonising heartbreak of the missing kebab wasn’t bad enough, the slices of cheese provided were clearly of a quality even lower than what would be found within a thirty-year-old Big Mac. Sophie reacted with understandable alarm, having stated “honestly cannot cope” and “honestly I didn't find it funny at first because I was absolutely craving a kebab”. There’s definitely no doubting her integrity.

Fortunately, after a long period of tearful reflection, Sophie was able to secure a replacement kebab to fulfil her nutrition and dietary needs after phoning the takeaway. Personally, I’d have preferred the towering mound of cheese.

There is, alas, one terrifying aspect of this case that should haunt us all: out there – somewhere – lurking in bushes and ducking behind wheelie bins, is a cold-blooded, brutal and maniacal food murderer. Keep your carrier bags tied and your cardboard boxes sealed.

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Comments (7)

  • I like cheese actually 😂

      2 months ago
  • Please settle a family argument for m me. Is it pronounced "ke-bob" or more correctly, "ke-bab"? Thank you.

      2 months ago
    • 2 months ago
  • Ke-bab without question or shadow of a doubt

      2 months ago