Terrible news: I'm falling out of love with McDonald's
I've seen the BigMac for what it is
For close to two decades, McDonald’s has been there in my life as an enjoyable constant. There was a time when it was my favourite restaurant ever. Where you obviously have birthdays, dates, weddings, graduation dinners. The best part of a road trip. Then I grew up a little, and realised it wasn’t, but still, there’s always been that little fizz of excitement when I see the golden arches. It’s a Next Exit I want to take.
I had McDonald's on the weekend, and for the first time, I enjoyed none of it. I didn’t even finish it -and it’s not because I wasn’t hungry; I had dessert. Nor is it because there was anything wrong with the McNuggets either - they were the same as I've always enjoyed. It’s something more serious. I’m over it.
Why? What even? Is this another step towards maturity that will end with me, aged 80, sending food back to kitchens? Did a witch gatecrash my birth and cast me under a 20-year spell that's just broken? My mother says that didn't happen. Point is I don’t know – but there was warning.
It was the Grand Big Mac. I saw it came with a free cup, and because I’m a shallow person, I ordered it. Well, the free cup isn’t dishwasher safe, which means it’s a liability and I don’t even have any pencils to put in it, and the Grand Big Mac itself? It was dry. It was too much. It took everything that’s wrong with the BigMac and magnified it – the trouble was, I never realised there was anything wrong with the BigMac before.
So I was turned off BigMacs. I thought, well, a break from the burger I’ve consistently ordered since I had that coming-of-age conversation with my dad: "I think I need more than the Quarter Pounder now" wouldn’t be a bad idea. I swapped it out for a McMuffin and a hash brown.
It was going well, til I ordered a BigMac again the other night. I tore open the bag, downed the fries, dipped some McNuggets in the aioli - and decided no. I can’t do this anymore.
It’s all true. FoodTribe’s Doug F – I admit it. Their burgers are awful, they’re overpriced, as a brand they’re resting on their laurels, and the only reason you’d pick Maccas over Hungry Jacks* is because there’s 60 McDonald’s restaurants to 0.5 Hungry Jacks. McDonald’s knows this; otherwise they’d fix the BigMac.
That's also unfortunately why I’m going to continue to have McDonald’s from time to time. We’ll see whether this rift is permanent, or whether I’ll be back to merrily ordering 6 hash browns @$2.20 each for second breakfast, and lovin' it.
*Australia's Burger King