- Quinton Coetzee on Unsplash, cause I don't wear quarter-length jeans and Nikes without socks

Terrible news: I'm falling out of love with McDonald's

I've seen the BigMac for what it is

14w ago

For close to two decades, McDonald’s has been there in my life as an enjoyable constant. There was a time when it was my favourite restaurant ever. Where you obviously have birthdays, dates, weddings, graduation dinners. The best part of a road trip. Then I grew up a little, and realised it wasn’t, but still, there’s always been that little fizz of excitement when I see the golden arches. It’s a Next Exit I want to take.

Until now.

I had McDonald's on the weekend, and for the first time, I enjoyed none of it. I didn’t even finish it -and it’s not because I wasn’t hungry; I had dessert. Nor is it because there was anything wrong with the McNuggets either - they were the same as I've always enjoyed. It’s something more serious. I’m over it.

Why? What even? Is this another step towards maturity that will end with me, aged 80, sending food back to kitchens? Did a witch gatecrash my birth and cast me under a 20-year spell that's just broken? My mother says that didn't happen. Point is I don’t know – but there was warning.

It was the Grand Big Mac. I saw it came with a free cup, and because I’m a shallow person, I ordered it. Well, the free cup isn’t dishwasher safe, which means it’s a liability and I don’t even have any pencils to put in it, and the Grand Big Mac itself? It was dry. It was too much. It took everything that’s wrong with the BigMac and magnified it – the trouble was, I never realised there was anything wrong with the BigMac before.

So I was turned off BigMacs. I thought, well, a break from the burger I’ve consistently ordered since I had that coming-of-age conversation with my dad: "I think I need more than the Quarter Pounder now" wouldn’t be a bad idea. I swapped it out for a McMuffin and a hash brown.

It was going well, til I ordered a BigMac again the other night. I tore open the bag, downed the fries, dipped some McNuggets in the aioli - and decided no. I can’t do this anymore.

It’s all true. FoodTribe’s Doug F – I admit it. Their burgers are awful, they’re overpriced, as a brand they’re resting on their laurels, and the only reason you’d pick Maccas over Hungry Jacks* is because there’s 60 McDonald’s restaurants to 0.5 Hungry Jacks. McDonald’s knows this; otherwise they’d fix the BigMac.

That's also unfortunately why I’m going to continue to have McDonald’s from time to time. We’ll see whether this rift is permanent, or whether I’ll be back to merrily ordering 6 hash browns @$2.20 each for second breakfast, and lovin' it.

*Australia's Burger King

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Comments (88)

  • Ohh where do I start ? I have so much to say on this Sir Juicy.

      3 months ago
    • Just don't be too smug Doug, or I'll change my mind out of pride. Also smug Doug rhymes.

        3 months ago
    • I like that. Trust me smugness is not my intent. Just for you to open your eyes to what you are "really" eating. You deserve better John.

        3 months ago
  • I never understood how anybody could fall in love with McDonalds in the first place 😊 John, you're so much better off now 😉

      3 months ago
    • All who have not loved her, you will not understand. Anyway I don't anymore.

        3 months ago
    • This wasn't love, an evil force has put a spell on you. Enjoy your new freedom! 😁

        3 months ago
  • I usually go to the local McDonalds, because it’s the only Fast Food Place nearby. I usually go for some kind of special though if I do. Never liked the Big Mac.

      3 months ago
  • Well that’s unfortunate. Let me sing you the song of my people 🌚😆

      3 months ago
  • 😁 👏

      3 months ago