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Police warn Clarkson not to expand his Diddly Squat Farm Shop

Thames Valley Police have issued a warning to Clarkson as the farm shop has been causing too much traffic and annoying the locals

Jeremy Clarkson's farm shop is possibly the most celebrated thing since Shrek, but the huge amount of traffic coming in to visit has caused the locals to be well, a little bit angry at him. This is partly because, as Clarkson says, they're "irked by the shop's success", but mostly because of the number of vehicles on those narrow roads.

Clarkson wants to expand his barn, and also plans to convert his lambing shed into a 60-seat restaurant. Thames Valley Police fear this might disrupt highway safety, and will need local policing to be installed on the site. Obviously, Clarkson isn't impressed with the people who have a problem with this, and has promptly called them "red trouser wearers".

In a statement, Thames Valley Police said: "Given this small site has received significant national attention, there has been a noticeable increase in traffic in the vicinity, which needs to be managed safely should the development be expanded."

Hilary Moore, a parish councillor for the Chadlington area has given a statement to the council: "Our roads are clogged with traffic and the whole area is becoming a danger zone with fast cars showing off their speed on narrow lanes, and traffic queueing for a mile or so." Clearly many locals want the shop to be closed down.

The police say they're happy as long as the site is used only for agricultural purpose, but Clarkson definitely wants more from the farm.

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Comments (45)

  • Here in New Hampshire, some small farmers have learned that agritourism is the only way to survive. There are a few farm-to-table restaurants set up, tours, and even a few places that offer urban folk the opportunity to do farm chores for a fee (sounds a bit to me like Tom Sawyer - for any non-Americans not familiar with Samuel Clemens, aka Mark Twain, young Tom's aunt charged him with whitewashing her fence as a punishment. Tom made the job look like so much fun that he managed to convince several other boys to not only paint the fence for him, but to pay him for the privilege!). With big agribusinesses taking over most of the US food industry, small farmers need to get creative if they want to continue doing what they love to do. I think is setting a good example of how to succeed in farming in the modern world.

    Of course, all the extra traffic would be a pain in the posterior for the locals. If possible, I think 's idea of some sort of bypass might be helpful. And the local police could generate some extra income by lying in wait for the speeders (speeding has no place on narrow, rural roads - among other things, sheep have a propensity for getting loose and getting in the way).

    Of course, agritourism requires the ability to deal politely with tourists, even the boneheaded ones... but it could be fun watching a city slicker cheerfully paying for the chance to muck out a pig sty. 😁

      1 month ago
    • Warrl, yes ma’am , indeed .

      Thanks for reminding me of the picket fence story ; it is indeed one of those joyful transformative moments, so cherished in classic American humourous literature .

      I should apologise as I could not find a...

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        1 month ago
    • This is the picture I had in mind ; Jeremy and the lads had driven on a similar place, from memory .

      Allowing water to flow under an elevated roadway may prevent future erosion issues, if the footings and foundations are tapered at both ends ,...

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        1 month ago

    These people sound descended from the same people who railed against the arrival of the railway into the countryside.

      1 month ago
  • For God's sake, how can anyone possibly argue with the commercial success of a local farmer, be it Jeremy Clarkson or someone else? With so many people coming to his shop, everybody will profit. I mean, people need to refuel somewhere, stay somewhere, have a coffee, eat something. All local businesses will see more customers. Where's the problem?

      1 month ago
  • This is wrong on so many levels... 😒

      1 month ago
  • πŸ™„

      1 month ago