Earlier this year I travelled with some mates to the bogan paradise that is Bali Indonesia. And it was brilliant. Mostly.
Out of all the meals I ate whilst there, one stands above the rest as the worst meal I’ve ever eaten.
Here’s how that dish came about:
We had spent the majority of the day snorkelling in a bay many kilometres from our accommodation and hence hadn’t eaten for several hours (which, when you’re an adolescent male, feels like several lifetimes).
It was 9pm when we arrived home and decided to scour the streets for something to satisfy our appetites. Given the late hour and our secluded location, our chances of finding an open restaurant were grim. We decided to search, nonetheless. To make matters worse, it was raining, the streets were flooded, and our flip-flops had disintegrated.
It was like this. Except worse. Credit: Alpha
We were about to accept defeat when one friend announced that there was a 5-star “Tripadvisor recommended” restaurant a few streets ahead that was actually open. In spite of the circumstances, we ran, spurned on by the thought of an invigorating meal. The reality couldn’t have been further from the truth.
Having arrived at said destination, I ordered an Indonesian classic: beef rendang. What I received was something else.
It looked like beef rendang in an if-I-squint-that-kind-of-looks-like-it sort of way, but that was about where the similarities ended. What I tasted that night had more in common with beach sand than the Indonesian dish I had grown accustomed to. The meat was dry, the rice was uncooked, and it was so incredibly salty that I presume the ‘chef’ had soaked the meat in the Dead Sea for several centuries prior to cooking it.
It was, without a doubt, the worst meal I have ever eaten.