Why chocolate truffles are the future of success: Galaxy orange truffles review

Forget TikTok fame or actually working hard, the true key to glory has a far sweeter truth.

6w ago
4.3K

There are two types of truffles that everyone should be aware of: one is the expensive kind that grows in woods, is served at outrageously posh restaurants and was once described by Jeremy Clarkson as “something that looks like a mummified testicle”; the other is the far superior one: chocolate.

In truth, all other forms of chocolate are irrelevant when compared to the triumphant truffle. Wafers go soggy, fruits can taste just plain weird and caramel trickles down your arm like a stealthy assassin trying to disable you with drippings of unnecessarily sticky dribble. On the other hand, the humble truffle never lets you down, which is why it is the ultimate method of achieving success.

I could think of no better way for testing my theory than with a box of Galaxy’s orange-flavoured truffles (the fact that they were a vastly reduced Christmas reject didn’t even enter my mind).

Each one was wrapped in glowing amber-and-pink packaging that radiated the prospects of the delightful bite within like a rainbow bouncing off a pot of gold.

The seductive segments contained sublime truffle inside, being soft and gooey without the nastiness of being dry and crumbly. There was also a fairly decent ring of characteristic Galaxy chocolate surrounding the miniature majesty that perhaps slightly overpowered the strength of the orange flavour, culminating in an enjoyable but not exactly mind-blowing treat (which perhaps is not such a bad thing if you value your brain not exploding).

If it’s simple, chocolatey and soft on the inside it’s certain to trigger a success. So, forget trying to flog questionable diet pills on Instagram and gobble down a few chocolate truffles to get the ideas for victory swirling round your mind. I might even donate a few to Boris Johnson.

After the amount of truffles I’ve eaten I fully expect to be a billionaire in the morning.

(I am aiming to write at least one food review a week throughout 2021 in support of The Trussell Trust, a UK charity that fights food poverty by supporting community food banks and campaigning for national change: justgiving.com/FoodWriting).

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Comments (6)

  • ...I am spending lockdown watching Paul Hollywood’s city bakes and GBBO... 😋🤪

      1 month ago
  • ...and now that I’ve actually read your article:

    what a delightful way you have to work with this language..!

    bliss.

      1 month ago
  • so then my Dad should be famous already! well, he is in our family!!🤣🧁😋

      1 month ago
  • Update: still not a billionaire

      1 month ago
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