Now in my first FoodTribe post I informed everyone about how much of useless cook I am. But truth be told, I used to be quite a good baker. I used to make cookies, cakes and flapjacks all the time. However, there was one incident that was such a fail haven’t baked since.
One day while home alone I decided, being the randy rascal that I am, to bake a cake. A Victoria sponge to be specific. I have baked many of these in the past, I even made a purple one for catering class in school. However, when I tired to make one on my own it turned out to be something that could have used as a biological weapon. Un-edible is an understatement.
I followed a Mary Berry recipe that I found online and unlike the Cheese Sauce I made I actually read the recipe this time. The first thing that went wrong was the food colouring. I wanted to make a green cake, and it all looked very promising the cake went a sort of Mike Wazowski Green.
However, when I put the mixture into the oven went from Mike Wazowski Green to Dehydrated Urine Yellow. Not what I was hoping for. When I took the cake out of the oven it was even worse the cake had sagged, and looked like someone had punched the middle.
I decided to try and revive the cake with a bit of bright pink icing but that ended up being as big of a failure as the cake itself. Never mind I told myself, you should never judge a book by its cover. Its taste test time!
Well, let’s just say it didn’t meet my expectations. Nor did it get anywhere close. I think its fair to say all aspects of the cake were a total failure. When my parents came home and tried some they agreed that it wasn’t the best cake i'd ever made and after several days it was decided that no one wanted to eat the cake and it should be left out for the birds to eat.
The cake was put out when we left the house at 10am, when we returned home at 2am the cake was still there. Even the birds didn’t want to eat the cake.
I haven’t baked since, and I think that’s for the best.